I enjoy the whole evening routine, some gentle tv, a bath, fresh clothes, bottle of milk and a story. When I grew up I was also taught by my catholic parents to say a prayer to give thanks for the good things and ask for help with the bad and difficult things.
I’m very conscious of our daughters relationship with religion, and although we agree in having her baptised, that’s as far as our “forced” religious introductions go.
I like the concept of nighttime prayers though, and have found myself thinking of three good things that happened during the day, partly to help myself think about the positives from the day, however small, and partly to encourage her to finish the day with happy thoughts and not dwell on the missed opportunities or unfortunate events.
Ive noticed that watching TV dramas like this have a different effect than they used to – I’m far more aware of the family relationships and the parental emotions of characters than before. This isn’t very surprising, but really hit home watching the last episode of homeland.
Watching Broadie promise his daughter that he was coming home reduced me to a gibbering tearful wreck! The father-daughter relationship had been build throughout the series and both actors where utterly compelling in their final scene together.
I had better to get used to having my heart strings pulled like this as me and daughter connect more and more as she grows and develops!
Now baby is crawling with purpose, she’s started to pull herself up on toys and most frustratingly, in her cot.
This wouldn’t be a problem if she could lower herself back down, but she hasn’t learnt that yet so gets herself upright, stands tall gnawing at the bars and then gets tired but can’t sit down. The only thing she can do is scream for help until we come and guide her down, and the cycle repeats until she’s eventually too knackered to stand and eventually falls asleep slumped in the corner..!
So baby is now showing a lot of interest in moving about. In the space of a week she gone from being on her tummy and looking around to getting the coordination to start shuffling around.
I knew it would be another big change when she started to crawl but the impact is really hitting home now! Stair gates are up, a plastic screen is over the HiFi and kitchen cupboards have annoying catches fitted…
The new pills are definitely an improvement, I’m able to step out of the gloom a lot more and have more confidence to be proactive about things instead of withdrawing and shutting this out. This is good news for everyone.
One things that has surprised me is the number of people I know who are also taking or considering antidepressants, a large percentage. Is English life really so miserable? Is society so flawed that we are unable to see the best in life, inspire success and empathise with difficulties? Why do so many people feel isolated and lonely, especially in cities with populations of millions?
Someone wiser than me might have a chance figuring it out.
In the meantime, the pills are being popped and I’m doing my best to get on with things, and maybe, just maybe enjoying the odd little moment…
Wifey got a call from her sister, to tell her that our niece had just sharted all over her. This is a new word I’ve learnt, when a shit and fart are combined, and faeces is sprayed over a wide area. My poor sister in law was splattered in poo.
Thankfully she could see the funny side, and was quick to share the story with us for our amusement.
Thankfully I have only been urinated over so far, though I’m sure I’ll be sharted upon at some point…
An update on a few things.
Baby is doing very well, she’s getting a lot stronger, moving into the 3 month clothes nicely and you can see real developments in the way she interacts with her toys, gripping and pulling, fingers moving independently and she’s starting to push her self around with her feet (the thought of her getting more and more mobile is quite scary!
I’m still popping pills, coming up Ito a month now, and haven’t notice anything spectacular. I’ve got a checkup this week to review things so I’ll get some advice then. No news yet on therapy, but they did warn that can take quite a long time to arrange.
Its my birthday this time of year and I had a night out with friends and family which was great, I could forget about all my worries and stresses and slip back into an old me and relax and have fun. I probably drank too much as I’m not used to it but it was great to see people I hadn’t seen for ages and catch up.
At the weekend we did some DIY jobs, a bit of painting and fixed some cupboards, me and wifey were lucky that baby took an extra long afternoon nap and we could get stuck into something, it was good to do something productive which didn’t just involve baby!
That’s it for now, I will try and write more, more often…
It’s been a bit quiet on here, in the tradition of blogging I’ve been struggling for time and knowing what to write.
It’s been two weeks since I started popping pills to help sort out my depression. In that time I haven’t really felt any different, but at least I’m doing something, and that helps wifey cope.
I’ve seen the doc again for a two week check, been given another prescription and had a referral for therapy. As part of the referral process I had to complete a questionnaire when I then discussed in a phone assessment. I was classified as moderately to severely depressed and recommended one to one therapy. There’s quite a waiting lust so it will probably take 2-3 months before I get to see anyone, hopefully the pills will have kicked by then.
I have got quite into the Olympics over the last two weeks, it’s been good to focus on and do something together with wifey, something which baby can’t really disrupt too much (hearing commentary isn’t critical!). I’m not sure what we’ll do when it’s all over today! We’ll both be miserable
During feeding time last night baby daughter last night managed to fire a poo out her nappy and right up her back, almost to her neck. Her whole back was literally covered in mustard poo. Half a packet of baby wipes latter I still couldn’t work out quite how she’d done it.
I am both disgusted and impressed.