This is a hard one to write. Sometimes you think things are going ok, that you’re juggling the different parts of your life without dropping too many balls, and that they’re only small balls anyway, but then you get shown the reality of the situation and find in actual fact you’re being more and more withdrawn and the little balls you’ve dropped are actually quite heavy and are breaking things around you.
To put it simply, I’m actually in a bit of a bad state at the moment and am booked into see a doctor to talk about depression. I don’t know if I’m technically depressed, but I know I’m not well, and it’s getting well beyond my control and having a severe impact on those closest around me and that I need help.
It feels like I’m missing part of my mind, I’m aware that things aren’t right but the part missing is what would usually tell me what’s going on and how to manage it.
So I’m seeing a doctor after pleas from wifey as I don’t know what else to do, and it’s too much for wifey. Maybe I’ll get some pills, or see a councillor?
I started writing this on the way to work this morning and have since read this post from smilingandsparkling about a relapse into post natal depression. Seems it’s a tough time for a few us parental bloggers at the moment, hopefully sharing experiences online like this may make it easier for others to seek help.