Tag Archive | baby

My, haven’t you grown!

It only lasted a month, but our baby isn’t the newest face on the family tree. She now has a new cousin to spa with.

It’s already difficult to remember a time without baby, but I still feel like a total amateur parent. Seeing our new niece and her patents struggle with the almost impossibly steep learning curve has shown us that actually, we’re doing alright. There was a definite “look how far we’ve come” moment and that’s given us both a real confidence boost, especially coupled with our recent day trip.

Our little one still feels very much like a baby, but it was amazing how much she’s already grown in four weeks compared to her newborn cousin – how much more alert and aware she is of her surroundings.

I’m already feeling the Competitive Dad in me, proud our daughter is significantly more developed than a newborn baby – how pathetic is that?!!


Mirror, signal, say some stupid things that upset everyone.

Me and wifey had a major collision today and said some terrible things to each other.

It’s been four weeks now since baby arrived and the cumulative effect bared its teeth.

I may be past the first four weeks, but I fear tougher times are ahead.

Awesome, I just got over 90 minutes of uninterrupted sleep!

To summarise the first week of being a dad:

  • Hearing your partner shout “I need to push!” when you’re still at home and 40 minutes away from the hospital is terrifying.
  • Driving with your partner in the back seat, in labour, chanting “don’t push, don’t push” is almost as terrifying.
  • Being in a room with 10 strangers all looking at your completely naked wife is just weird.
  • Somehow there was a small part of me that still didn’t quite believe there was a baby inside wifey, but seeing it actually delivered changed that pretty quickly.
  • Labour is fucking intense. Unbelievably so. Fucking amazing, but fucking intense. Expletives are fully justified.
  • Women are tough. They give everything they’ve got for 15 hours and somehow give even more, for another 90 minutes.
  • A ventouse delivery is equally freaky and scary.
  • Holding your baby for the first time is absolutely awesome.
  • Seeing wifey go through it all is pretty traumatic
  • The NHS is awesome. Could not have imagined better care, seriously. Very impressed.
  • Having to leave your baby for the first time to go and get some sleep can be quite emotional for everyone involved.
  • Sleep will never be the same again
  • When I asked new parents about surviving with the lack of sleep, they said “you just do”. I now understand this fully.
  • Your relationship with your own parents gets taken to another level of appreciation and gratitude.
  • Digital cameras were made for babies.
  • You crash and burn spectacularly on the 3rd / 4th day.
  • Time flies very fast. “she’s a week old already?!”
  • Breast feeding can be a mean bitch of a job.
  • Nothing can gross you out any more. I’ve been wee’d on, poo’d on and vomited all over, but the only thought is “is the baby ok?!”
  • Modern smartphones were invented to keep geeky dads like me sane during the unsocial hours.
  • Driving home with your baby for the first time is almost as scary as driving to the hospital with your partner in labour.

Not a conclusive list but gives you a rough idea of things.

All the ducks are swimming in the water

This blog has been quiet because last week our baby finally arrived.

Not surprisingly I’ve had no time to post since, but hope as things settle I’ll be able to give some updates soon.

Wifey and baby are mostly well, and we’re all trying to work out what we do now our little one is here.

The title of the post refers to a lemon jelly track played in the car on the way to the hospital which I found myself humming a lot during the while experience…

More soon I hope…

I’ve never heard it described in quite those words before

I’ve become quite a fan of the TV series Dexter, about a nice serial killer who only murders bad people (it’s better than i describe). Obviously, the lead character Dexter Morgan, has some social issues but tries to lead as  normal a life as possible.

In the episode I watched last night, Dexter tells his potty mouthed sister that he’s having a baby:

Debra: A baby? A motherfucking roly-poly, chubby cheeked, shit machine? Are you kidding me?

Dexter: I’ve never heard it described in quite those words before, but yeah.

I’ve never heard a baby called that before either, but it did raise a smile so I thought I’d share!

Maybe it’s not the best programme to watch if you’re suffering from insomnia, but my sleep is getting better and watching a messed-up, nice-guy, serial-killing social-reject come to terms with being a father does actually make things a bit easier to deal with!

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