The difference a day can make. There aren’t many bank holidays in the year and so they’re treated with care and attention.
The last few have been different though, usually they’re a real break from the pressures and demands of working life but now, as a parent to be, there is no escape from the pressure and stress of impending fatherhood.
This weekend and been an exceptionally long one, I’d booked Friday off work for a 4 day weekend so I could have a proper break from work but it hasn’t been the rest I’d have hoped as the thoughts keeping me awake at night aren’t thoughts of the 9-5.
I went to the doctors on friday to get some help with my sleeping. It’s got really bad recently, a mixture of mental worries and physical difficulties of an almost 9 month pregnant wifey. I was prescribed 20mg of Tamazepan for a few weeks and encouraging told to try not to worry about things. “just make sure you have time at home and things will slot into place” the doc said.
It’s more the mental exhaustion than physical that I’m struggling with. These 9 months seem to have lasted forever and in a moment of excessive honesty I admitted as much to wifey which made us both feel shit. There hasn’t been a single part of this which seems straight forward or simple.
Giving a bit of history, we’d been trying for about 6 months before wifey got pregnant, but that only lasted 8 weeks and after some worrying bleeding and a trip to the hospital we were told that whatever had been there wasn’t any more. It was another three months before we were lucky again and that brought on 4 months of horrific morning sickness where wifey could barely hold down anything but ice cold water. We had 6-8 weeks of normality before the bump began to slow her down and heartburn, swollen ankles and uncomfortable sleeping set in.
We’re both exhausted from the whole thing, and fuses and patience struggling to cope. Where before a long bank holiday would fix any stresses and strains there’s no escape for either of us anymore and won’t be again for a long long time.
I miss the time I had for myself, the fun I had with wifey and the life we used to have together. Now the D-Day is barely a week away I can’t even enjoy a drink as I don’t want to risk anything when I’ve for to make that trip to the hospital.
I can’t wait for the baby to arrive, me and wifey will be a team again, and instead of the little monster being locked inside, she’ll be out for us both to enjoy.