Tag Archive | lonely

When worlds collide

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One thing that has helped me through the last year, particularly when I’ve been struggling with my mental health, is the separation of work and home.

I could try and forget about all my personal insecurities and anxiety at work and be Professional Dad, putting on a show and acting how I imagined someone who didn’t feel like crying at the bottom of a dark well would act.

As part of this weeks changes with the little one going to nursery, I now work from home one day a week. This means I can use the time usually spent commuting getting an extra hour in on work to let me leave early another day, and picking the little one up from nursery.

I hadn’t anticipated how different I am “at work” even when I’m at home. I was meant to call the nursery at 10:30 to check how things were but had completely switched off that part of my brain and it felt a bit weird when I realised I’d forgotten / ignored it.

What I’ve learnt about working from home.

  • I wish I was a cat. Our litterly does nothing all day except rearrange himself into comfy positions (some of which really don’t look comfortable).
  • Coffee you make yourself at home is soon much better
  • Not being constantly disturbed and interrupted is fantastic.
  • My home IT and broadband is much better than what is used at work.
  • Finishing your days work and being already home is awesome.
  • There are a lot of potential distractions. Everywhere.
  • Carrying a crap laptop bag of work stuff on the train is a pain in the arse.
  • It can get a bit quiet and lonely. I think I’ll have a radio on or something next time.

It’s enlightening how many people are depressed.

I had a check up with the Doc and have moved onto a new set of pills – new antidepressants and some sleeping pills to help my mind rest at night.

The new pills are definitely an improvement, I’m able to step out of the gloom a lot more and have more confidence to be proactive about things instead of withdrawing and shutting this out. This is good news for everyone.

One things that has surprised me is the number of people I know who are also taking or considering antidepressants, a large percentage. Is English life really so miserable? Is society so flawed that we are unable to see the best in life, inspire success and empathise with difficulties? Why do so many people feel isolated and lonely, especially in cities with populations of millions?

Someone wiser than me might have a chance figuring it out.

In the meantime, the pills are being popped and I’m doing my best to get on with things, and maybe, just maybe enjoying the odd little moment…

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