Tag Archive | nappy

Potty training day three – tricky trickles

20140403-185250.jpgWell, this may take some time.

We are having a 50/50 success rate, but it’s more luck than skill. She’s calling out for the potty a lot, and it isn’t too difficult to get her to sit down on it, but she’s only doing drops at a time, and when she doesn’t call for the potty she just makes a little damp patch on her clothes.

Apparently this is very common, which is good to know but not very helpful. Because modern nappies are so effective in soaking up wee to keep babies comfortable, the baby doesn’t actually realise she’s doing a wee, and gives a regular drip-drip-drip.

So the mental battle to go to the potty when the urge arises has almost been won, the physical ability to “hold it in” doesn’t exist and needs to be learnt.

So far our record is 9 changes of pants in one day at nursery. The laminate and tiled floors in our house have been a godsend the past three days.

Top five lessons so far

  1. You can’t have too many spare pairs of pants ready.
  2. Turn the heating up and have them wear as little as possible fr the waist down.
  3. Roll up all your rugs and keep the little one away from carpets where possible.
  4. If you live in a house get two pottys – one for upstairs and one for downstairs – when she says she’s going to go, you don’t have much time (she may have already gone).
  5. Sandals or plastic/rubber shoes like crocs are great so you don’t get trainers filling with piss.



Potty training day one – making a song and dance of it.

Day one of potty training, and I’m relived I only had to deal with a few child-like grownups in the office and not an unpredictable toddler wearing pants for the first time in her life.

Over all it was a success. A quick first top three lessons learnt on the first day:

  1. When you’ve spent your whole life wearing a nappy, switching to a comfy pair of pants is actually quite weird for a toddler.
  2. When they finally perform on cue in the potty, making a literal song and dance is fun, we spent about 15 minutes jumping and dancing round the room celebrating, to the extent that I was worried she’d wee again with giggles and excitement.
  3. Wipe clean floors really come into their own when there’s the constant risk of wee.
  4. You can’t have too much kitchen roll and floor wipes to hand.
  5. Roll up the rugs you have on your wooden or tiled floor – make the most of that wipe clean surface.

The day finished with a respectable wee in the potty while watch “Zoo lane” and a grump about putting a nappy on for bed time. Let’s see what tomorrow brings…

Poo poo party

20130616-224100.jpgToday was Fathers Day, and I was greeted at 6am with screams and cries from the nursery, and on investigating found our little girl had had woken up to a serious nappy malfunction.

I got her out of her sleeping bag and there was shit everywhere. Thank god it had somehow been contained within her pyjamas, but everything below the waist was smeared with poo, and soon it had spread to my knees and legs as I kneeled in front of her.

As I cleaned up the stinking mess, a scene from the Adam and Joe show on 6music came to mind…

Adam & Joe “Pom-Pom”

Happy Father’s Day dads!

Vertical poo

During feeding time last night baby daughter last night managed to fire a poo out her nappy and right up her back, almost to her neck. Her whole back was literally covered in mustard poo. Half a packet of baby wipes latter I still couldn’t work out quite how she’d done it.

I am both disgusted and impressed.

A month in, and we’re rewarded with the best day yet

Image credited to tedcarter.co.uk

Image from tedcarter.co.uk

It’s hard to believe we’re only a month into this parenting adventure. I can barely remember life without baby, we’re so focused on the care and routine the days of sitting lazily on the sofa moaning there’s nothing on tv are a distant memory.

After our previously reported bust-up things are much better. The release of frustrations was a good thing and I’m glad we were both able to realise that most of what was said was born out of tiredness and frustration. Having a baby is a true test of your relationship.

But we were rewarded with a great day afterwards, I’d had time booked off so we could register baby in our first proper outing. We packed up the car and headed to the city where she was born (I make it sound a bit Mary and Joseph!). The plan was to register her, have lunch and do a bit of shopping. This was a pretty ambitious adventure considering we’d never been further than the grandparents 20 minutes away and were about to drive 40 minutes from home and put the last four weeks training and skill on public display.

Six things I learnt from our first outing

  • Trying to fit everything into one change bag is pretty tricky. In hindsight maybe we didn’t need three changes of clothes and four bottles of milk…
  • I’ve never got so much attention from women before, having a baby strapped to your chest seems to turn you into Ryan Gosling

    Image from Digital Spy

    Image from digitalspy.co.uk

  • Changing a nappy in public is quite stressful. I’m getting better at ignoring the usual screams when at home, but it’s a different kettle of fish when you’re so aware that everyone else hasn’t had weeks of practice building up a tolerance to your baby’s cries.
  • Baby has a love/hate relationship with the car seat – she screams as if I’m pulling teeth when she’s put in it, but after 10 seconds of driving she’s fast asleep in a luxury dream world.
  • As a result of packing half the nursery into the change bag, carrying a baby on your front and a change bag on your back gets quite heavy after an hour or so.
  • Although pushchairs are less agile, if you’re on your own they’re the way forward. Baby, change bag and anything else you pick up on the way gets thrown in/under/hung off the back.

We successfully got baby registered (which reminded me of giving notice to marry wifey, strangely romantic in a bureaucratic kind of way), brought lunch, ate lunch outside, changed and fed baby in the summer shade and did some shopping.

If we were American we would have high-dived when we got back to the car – baby was well, jobs completed and sanity in check – maybe we can actually do this baby thing after all?!?!

We celebrated with a glass of bubbly and chocolates after dinner while watching the recorded England vs Ukraine match (I know the ball was over the line, but the striker was offside when it was played to him so fair result IMHO).

The perfect end to our first family outing!

Happy Fathers Day

To all the new (and seasoned) dads out there, may the nappies you change be neat and wriggle free, and the feeds you give not be sprayed over your clothes 5 minutes latter.

Have a good one from Sane Dad.

How does she know?

During the week I cover the 5:00 – 6:40 morning shift for nappy changes and feeds. Every day so far our little baby has woken us up just after 5am – 5:02, 5:04, 5:03 – the accuracy is uncanny.

This is the only consitent routine in her whole existance, and it’s damn frustrating that it results in me clawing my way out of bed to deal with poo, wee and hungry screams!

I’m desperately hoping she sleeps a little longer tomorrow as a Friday treat, but I fear she enjoys showing who’s in charge too much…

Are we having fun yet?

I’m three weeks in to parenthood and I’ve got to say, this isn’t what I expected.

I’m not actually a Nickleback fan, but I’ve had a line from “This is how you remind me” above circling in my head for a few days now – “Are we having fun yet?

I expected the sleep loss, I expected the mood swings, I expected the exhaustion and I expected the relentless care that the baby would need.

I didn’t expect the lack of balance to these feelings though.

Charlie Brooker described his newborn daughter as a “screaming pet rock” and I can heavily relate. Baby does little more than sleep, cry, scream, eat, fill nappies and vomit (ordered by frequency). Every difficulty is the end of their world and is treated as such. Your whole life is now spent caring for them and making their life as comfortable as possible, but the screams and looks of utter despair from them as you prepare a bottle or change their nappy gives me no gratitude.

Even rare moments of activities you used to enjoy don’t give the same pleasure, as you’re so aware that it’s baby’s prerogative to ruin anything at any time with screams of red faced raging hopelessness.

She does occasionally just lay awake, looking at her new world in wonder, and I’ve seen hints of a smile a few times now. But these moments are rare and far between and give little consolation to the sleepless nights and desperate screams which have plagued the last three week.

They say it gets better. I hope so, because I’m not having fun yet.

And on the twelfth day we had a meltdown

I hit an all time low today.

The lack of sleep has already made thoughts and memories jumble up into a mush of events, but at about 8am this morning I found myself changing a nappy with tears rolling down my face pleading for our baby to stop crying. The little poppers on baby grows can be infuriating at the best of times but when you’ve only had a few hours sleep all night the little fuckers can break a man.

It had all just got too much. Our baby screams like you’re pulling it’s fingernails off whenever it’s unhappy – hungry, dirty nappy or just a bit lonely, and soon forgets why she’s screaming at all and gives you full rage for the love of rage. She was recently fed, her nappy was clean and we were trying to have a cuddle.

What made it all so much worse was the fact that we haven’t even hit the end of week two yet and we have days and months of this ahead, and the real tests of life when I’m trying to work full time and wifey is on her own most of the day haven’t begun.

But never the less I found myself pounding the floor in frustration and pleading with baby to stop crying.

She eventually did of course, it was as if someone had turned a switch off. Within seconds she was red faced and giving me a lungful of stinking milk breath, and the next she was silent.

When wifey came down we had a bit of a chat about things. Baby had been a terror with her the first half of the night and we both agreed that forgoing sex for the rest of our lives to ensure we didn’t create another one of these was worth the sacrifice. We both wept a little at the frustrations, and how there was still so much more to come.

But we don’t know a way round it. Our baby is still days old and still has so much ahead of her, and somehow we’ve got to grin and bare it. Somehow.

Fuck knows how.

So many bodily fluids, so little time

Today I saw pretty much everything my baby had to offer – wee, poo, wee over poo, poo on wee and vomit everywhere.

So many changes of clothes, so much sticky foul smelling fluid and mush.

I’m not squeamish but it’s all been pretty disgusting.

The most frustrating part is the time it all takes up. Your time becomes so precious, snatching a few minutes to send a text message or read an email. One explosive vomiting incident and it’s all gone as baby and bedding are stripped bare and replaced with new clothes and covers as if nothing had ever happened except the clock jumping forward 20 minutes.

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