Tag Archive | vomit

Happy Fathers Day

To all the new (and seasoned) dads out there, may the nappies you change be neat and wriggle free, and the feeds you give not be sprayed over your clothes 5 minutes latter.

Have a good one from Sane Dad.

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Thinking too far ahead

I’ve just read this excellent piece from the Why is daddy crying? blog about hypocritical thoughts about his son and daughter. Before we knew whether we were having a boy or girl I had very similar ideas, and now we have a girl my mind is already racing ahead to teenage years and dating dilemmas. Its a very bad habit of mine, the poor baby can’t even feed herself yet!

Hopefully between me and wifey we’ll have a somewhat balanced approach, but as neither of us were big daters in our teens our experience is somewhat limited!

I really should just concentrate on baby having a full feed without vomiting over herself first though…

So many bodily fluids, so little time

Today I saw pretty much everything my baby had to offer – wee, poo, wee over poo, poo on wee and vomit everywhere.

So many changes of clothes, so much sticky foul smelling fluid and mush.

I’m not squeamish but it’s all been pretty disgusting.

The most frustrating part is the time it all takes up. Your time becomes so precious, snatching a few minutes to send a text message or read an email. One explosive vomiting incident and it’s all gone as baby and bedding are stripped bare and replaced with new clothes and covers as if nothing had ever happened except the clock jumping forward 20 minutes.

Awesome, I just got over 90 minutes of uninterrupted sleep!

To summarise the first week of being a dad:

  • Hearing your partner shout “I need to push!” when you’re still at home and 40 minutes away from the hospital is terrifying.
  • Driving with your partner in the back seat, in labour, chanting “don’t push, don’t push” is almost as terrifying.
  • Being in a room with 10 strangers all looking at your completely naked wife is just weird.
  • Somehow there was a small part of me that still didn’t quite believe there was a baby inside wifey, but seeing it actually delivered changed that pretty quickly.
  • Labour is fucking intense. Unbelievably so. Fucking amazing, but fucking intense. Expletives are fully justified.
  • Women are tough. They give everything they’ve got for 15 hours and somehow give even more, for another 90 minutes.
  • A ventouse delivery is equally freaky and scary.
  • Holding your baby for the first time is absolutely awesome.
  • Seeing wifey go through it all is pretty traumatic
  • The NHS is awesome. Could not have imagined better care, seriously. Very impressed.
  • Having to leave your baby for the first time to go and get some sleep can be quite emotional for everyone involved.
  • Sleep will never be the same again
  • When I asked new parents about surviving with the lack of sleep, they said “you just do”. I now understand this fully.
  • Your relationship with your own parents gets taken to another level of appreciation and gratitude.
  • Digital cameras were made for babies.
  • You crash and burn spectacularly on the 3rd / 4th day.
  • Time flies very fast. “she’s a week old already?!”
  • Breast feeding can be a mean bitch of a job.
  • Nothing can gross you out any more. I’ve been wee’d on, poo’d on and vomited all over, but the only thought is “is the baby ok?!”
  • Modern smartphones were invented to keep geeky dads like me sane during the unsocial hours.
  • Driving home with your baby for the first time is almost as scary as driving to the hospital with your partner in labour.

Not a conclusive list but gives you a rough idea of things.

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